Emotional intelligence: make your life a masterpiece!
Today there is a lot of talk about success in the workplace and it seems that emotional intelligence is the key. Personally, I agree very much, but most of all I believe that emotional intelligence is the key to success in much broader terms.
In fact, I believe it is the basis of the personal fulfillment of each of us.
Developing emotional intelligence means first of all emotional awareness , the ability that allows us to cleanse everything that has nothing to do with who we really are and that we build over time.
And we really put on a lot of things!
Claims, judgments, rules, habits and beliefs …
It is by cleaning that we reach that deep awareness that enables us to take our life in hand.
By rediscovering ourselves and learning to know ourselves, we take back the power to act rather than react .
And by discovering who we really are, we can make the most of our infinite potential by letting the value that belongs to us (that we are!) Really emerge.
Of course, the success in realizing ourselves also depends on the relationship with the world in which we are immersed, made up of things, events and people.
Emotional intelligence allows us to live it freely and unconditionally by managing and using our emotions in the best possible way and to relate constructively with others by developing empathic skills .
What is emotional intelligence
Over time, several theoretical models of emotional intelligence have been developed:
The first dates back to 1990 when Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in their article “Emotional Intelligence” define emotional intelligence as ” The ability to control one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, distinguish between them and use this information to guide their own thoughts and actions “
The model has been reworked on several occasions and in 1995 Daniel Goleman in the book “Emotional Intelligence”, later translated into “Emotional Intelligence: what it is and why it can make us happy”, defines the model that is still referred to today and which, among others, introduces the concepts of motivation , awareness and empathy .
The aspects that constitute emotional intelligence as identified by Salovey and Mayer and updated by Goleman, are the following:
- Perception of emotions
- Understanding of emotions
- Use of emotions
- Management of emotions
According to these authors, emotional intelligence is a measurable property, so much so that in parallel with their models, they have also developed tests useful for this purpose.
Many, and I personally agree, believe that emotional intelligence cannot be measured. I don’t think it is enough to refer to external behaviors and results to get a representative number, I rather believe that emotional intelligence is a way of life .
And I’ve never seen ways of life that can be measured with a test
Now I show you how all the elements of emotional intelligence come into play in relating to ourselves and the world we live in.
The role of self-awareness
Perceiving emotions begins with seeing them and knowing how to recognize them through emotional awareness to then take control of them.
Self-awareness plays a fundamental role in this because our emotions are inevitably influenced and influenced by our emotional and physical state of departure.
For example, if I understand that there is a reason why I cannot do what I would like as I would like or why I feel a heaviness that I do not recognize in my physical or emotional state, I do not allow myself to be overwhelmed by fear , but I remain present to myself. , or myself and I understand that there is nothing wrong.
At that point, I can accept my condition and take control of my emotions and prevent them from controlling me.
We commonly think that in certain situations it is “normal” for emotions to control us, but developing emotional intelligence also means realizing that we are not our emotions , but we create them through a very specific mechanism .
This is why we can learn to manage them in any situation.
Knowing ourselves then means knowing our limits and strengths in order to be able to manage ourselves better and always find ourselves in the best conditions to create positive emotions.
It also means becoming aware of our qualities to make the most of them and of our defects to improve ourselves precisely through emotional intelligence by understanding and making good use of our emotions.
Understanding and managing emotions to fulfill oneself
Understanding emotions does not only mean distinguishing them, but above all it means understanding the mechanism from which they arise and which determines their functioning.
If you understand how something works, then you can use it as you see fit, right?
In the same way, if you understand how an emotion is born and depending on what will be positive or negative, then on the one hand you can choose the emotions you want to experience , on the other you can use them to the fullest by grasping the message they are bringing you .
We often wage war on negative emotions without realizing that they are not bad, but they are telling us something important. Thing?
I told you we put on a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with who we are and that prevents us from expressing our potential to feel truly fulfilled, remember?
Yes, because if we don’t even see it, how can we express the value of our uniqueness to offer an authentic contribution and with it give a complete meaning to our life?
Well, keep in mind that every negative emotion comes to tell us that we have a problem that we need to solve and it is right behind that problem that what we have been wearing is hidden.
Rules, judgments, habits , demands, and so on. Memories?
Emotional intelligence, starting from our emotions and through the mechanism that governs them, allows us to find a solution to every problem and finally discover who we are to realize ourselves and make every day a day full of meaning.
I’ll explain all this well in the article in this I talk to you about how to manage negative emotions in which I also show you how to best use the emotional diary, a precious tool that I also mentioned in the video.
How to trigger the circle of motivation
Emotional intelligence thanks to emotional awareness is also crucial in personal motivation .
Realizing that every emotion is born for a specific reason means understanding why we do what and what will actually make us feel good.
It will be easy at this point to trigger a circle in which we can act in the best way , to feel better emotions , and then again act in the best way starting from the most suitable emotional state.
If you know that something makes you feel good and why, you will be more motivated, or motivated to go in that direction, don’t you think?
Thanks to emotional intelligence you can also find good reasons where you don’t see any now.
On the other hand, if you are already well it will be much easier to act in the most constructive way and for the right reasons, make more lucid decisions and relate better to others than when you experience negative emotions.
As you can see, developing emotional intelligence is essential to better manage emotions and take the path that interests you most, achieving the happiness you want .
Emotions in the relationship with others
Developing emotional intelligence according to various theoretical models also means learning to understand the emotions of others .
Understanding the emotions of others essentially means developing empathy .
The ability to recognize other people’s emotions can also be used to manipulate people, but developing empathy is something much deeper.
Hearing how the other feels allows us to dialogue on a soul level and thus the relationship with the other will be more authentic.
It will be easier to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and develop a greater sense of listening and help, which will allow you to build more human and constructive relationships, regardless of the type of relationship.
Develop your awareness, discover your inner world and learn to understand and manage your emotions.
In a word, develop your emotional intelligence and you will see your relationship with yourself and with others improve , turning your life into an authentic masterpiece!