meaning, benefits, how to forgive
Forgiving has huge benefits, but its practices by so few people.
Before any other collateral emotion, forgiveness is a strong and compelling need that disturbs our life and dulls the mind if we don’t deal with it.
Two weeks ago something happened to me that perhaps opened some glimmers in this area so full of pathos and conflict.
What does forgiveness mean
Perdono derives from Late Latin and is composed of per , a prefix of completely , and of donare , which does not need translation. So to forgive means to give completely .
How far is it from the wounds and pain that is at the origin of the need to forgive, from the frustration of the Self, from the lack of esteem, from the terror of not being loved and accepted.
The person who offends , betrays, humiliates, who is indifferent to our suffering – or, worse still, causes pain to those we love – arouses in us anger , resentment, anger, a desire for revenge.
Certainly there is not a single reason that predisposes us not to let go and forgive, but there is certainly only one way to do it: to move all this huge mass of negative and painful emotions out of ourselves and to let go of the evil.
To give our suffering completely and try to transform it into something positive, new, of life .
Understanding ourselves to better understand others
Maybe that’s all: being able to understand how responsible we feel in a difficult situation, where someone hurts us, how wounded we are in our primary need to be well.
Of course there are situations where our non-responsibility is objective and therefore, paradoxically, after having had justice it is easier to forgive.
If, on the other hand, the situation sees us directly involved it is more complicated and the work to be done on ourselves to turn negative into positive is more demanding, but certainly not impossible.
The objectivity of my dogs needing a little extra training, a few more barriers, my ability to stay calm are undeniable facts, but what’s important is being able to transform a series of negative emotions and destructive in another.
Exercise to learn to forgive
The exercise consists of two phases that can be performed on two different days or on the same day
- 2 bowls large enough to put your hands in, preferably transparent
- a sheet of paper
- a pen of the color you feel most represents your emotions
- a seedling to transplant (whatever you want, a flower, some basil, a salad, a fat seedling)
- a pot to transplant the seedling
- some land
- a glass
- a tray or plate
Write on the paper all the words that tell about your mood (pain, anger, sadness, etc.). Everyone will have theirs, be sincere and raw, do not deceive yourself, even if they are bad words, only you will see them.
Sit in a lotus or cross-legged position, with your spine supported and supported, and place two bowls of cold water in front of you.
Start breathing deeply with your eyes closed for 5 minutes to regain your body and mind.
Continuing to breathe deeply, imagine that all the pain and sadness comes out of your hands with intense colors , dark red, purple, blue, gray even black, bring out the color that comes to your mind the moment you think about the words of pain you wrote.
Dip your hands in the water letting energy and color flow into it.
If one bowl is not enough, use another and continue to breathe visualizing your emotions, do not worry if you cry, let the tears flow like a river that washes your soul, do not hold back anything.
When you feel quite drained, a little exhausted but deeply free, open your eyes, remove your hands from the water and pour it on the ground if you have a garden, otherwise in the sink running clean water.
Sit down with the empty bowl in front of you and a glass of water, take the paper on which you wrote your words of pain.
Resume breathing, this time more diaphragmatic , and when you feel ready and determined, start breaking the paper into many small pieces, observe the words you tear, admire your hands that do it, smell the air and smell the scent of freedom .
When you are finished pour the water from the glass on the paper, let it absorb and start working the macerated paper with your hands, kneading with your fingers and crumbling the words and their meanings.
When you have obtained a slightly sticky dough, squeeze it well and spread it on the tray or plate, very thin. It must dry, so you can spread it on a material that can go in the oven and dry it at 50 ° for 15/20 minutes, or use a hairdryer or wait until the next day.
It is important while doing all this that you keep breathing with your diaphragm. It may be that, taken from the symbolic meaning of your gestures, you will get distracted: in that case stop and take your breath, which is your form of energy possession.
When the paper is dry you can proceed with the second phase.
Standing, inhale and stretch your arms above your head, think of the sun and its strength and exhale as you descend with your arms, continue to breathe deeply remembering the emotions and gestures of the first phase without dwelling too much, as if you were seeing a movie.
If in reestablishing contact between the two parts you feel your hands warm and energetic you can wet them, do not push the energies back in but bring them out.
Carefully place your dissolved word card on a fire-resistant material (eg a saucepan), wet it with alcohol and set it on fire; do not throw ash.
As the paper burns and the smoke rises breathe with joy and imagine your words of pain rising and dissolving, in your mind they are your gift to heaven and the universe.
Take the empty pot and put the earth up to the middle, make it flow into your hands, breathing deeply and feel the life inside it, pour the ashes of the paper on the ground and then take the seedling, removed from its now tight jar, and place it in the pot with roots on the ash.
Breathing into contact with the plant, feel its sap flowing under your fingers, think of its roots that feed on your gift, on your words.
Continuing to breathe, cover the roots with the remaining earth and all around the plant, wet it with fresh, clean water as you breathe and imagine the roots feeding.
The daily care that you will bring to this living being will be a balm to your soul, it will allow you to renew your gift every day, it will make you feel free and ready for a new life.